Jay Leno,~ "What's the difference between Tiger woods and Santa Claus?... "
Michael Ngunjiri answer???
Nick Kamau Answer... "Santa quits after 3 hos"
Eric Odhiambo Owino Ha ha ha ha ha....or should I say ho ho ho....Umeniget hapo
Joel Mudavadi so wrong Nick.
Nick Kamau Lol.. Jay said it, i'm just the messenger
Sammy Mogusu hahahahha! nasty nasty nasty! hahahahahhaah!!!!!!
"I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person"
"I’m not shy - I’m just studying my prey"
"Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy"
"If it aint broke, you're not trying hard enough..."
"College: $100 for a book. $300 to prove you read it."
"If you think education is expensive, try ignorance."
"A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on"
"I always wanted to be a procrastinator, but I never got around to it"
"I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person"
Eric Odhiambo Owino and Sammy Mogusu like this.
"Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it"
Koi Karu I'm commenting on your status update
Nick Kamau u've got too much time on your hands.. ama ni one of those moments when u need to look busy on ur crackberry
"I’m not shy - I’m just studying my prey"
"Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy"
"If it aint broke, you're not trying hard enough..."
"College: $100 for a book. $300 to prove you read it."
Paul Kim Muigai likes this.
Paul Kim Muigai Yeah man I know n $19 to sit in the class
Michael Kimeria The knowledge of it all? priceless!!!!
"If you think education is expensive, try ignorance."
"A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on"
"I always wanted to be a procrastinator, but I never got around to it"
"Too many freaks, not enough circuses.."
Daxyd Ky and Sammy Mogusu like this.
"work fascinates me... I could sit and watch it for hours"
Jimmie Keirow Mutahi and James Mbai like this
"It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser"
"Sichagui sibagui atayenizika simjui"
"Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children." ~George Bernard Shaw
"If you want to be happy", be -Leo Tolstoy
"Remember, stars shine the brightest in the darkest of nights"
"Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend’s forehead."
"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on." Winston Churchill
Stephanie Rummery likes this
Steve Muendo thats a good one nick...and before the truth sets on for the journey the lie will be back and the world will only believe the lie!
"Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going"
"Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going"
Kihono Kanja likes this.
"You must be at the end of your rope, I felt a tug"
Ciiru Chett hehehe, Did you now?
Nick Kamau I sure did sweetheart
"Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work." -Robert Orben
"Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work." -Robert Orben
"Utamu wa samaki ni kulwa upande zote" ~ MOG
Alexander Maringa likes this.
Sammy Mogusu LoLest u guy!!!
"I respect faith but doubt is what gets you an education” Wilson Mizner
"I respect faith but doubt is what gets you an education” Wilson Mizner
"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends" ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
Gemeda ጂሚ Shiferaw and Martha Ndegwa like this
Watching Kenyans kick ass on the track - IAAF World Champiniships in Berlin
At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer. ~Marshall Lumsden.
Matthew Holt Haha I like this one!
Matthew Holt Haha I like this one!
Asubuhi, asubuhi, Milo, toast bandika, na sausage... mmhh let me logoff and enjoy
Anthony Thuku Sema bro; Damn.. Just wat the doc ordered for the hangi! Lakini kwani Seattle mabro wanaanmkanga saa ngapi? Kwani jana kuliendaje?? Hehe
Nick Kamau hahahaha.... I thot someone might ask that one.. no comment.. yaani ulikataa kututembelea. how's the life on the East coast
George Korir Wazi Nick! Hiyo ndiyo starehe ya kipekee hata kama uliiamkia saa saba...hehehe
Nick Kamau Thanks Chochi..lol
"As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it." Dick Cavett
Gituma Nturibi likes this.
"It is an undoubted truth, that the less one has to do, the less time one finds to do it in." ~Earl of Chesterfield
"It is an undoubted truth, that the less one has to do, the less time one finds to do it in." ~Earl of Chesterfield
Stephanie Rummery That is so true!
"Be aware that a halo has to fall only a few inches to be a noose." Dan McKinnon
"Some days you're the dog - some days you're the hydrant."
Eric Odhiambo Owino, Sammy Mogusu and Daxyd Ky like this.
Sarah Scott lol
"I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once." - Jennifer Unlimited
"Be aware that a halo has to fall only a few inches to be a noose." Dan McKinnon
"Some days you're the dog - some days you're the hydrant."
Eric Odhiambo Owino, Sammy Mogusu and Daxyd Ky like this.
Sarah Scott lol
"I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once." - Jennifer Unlimited
Michael Ngunjiri and Sarah Scott like this.
"Some people get up early so they can go for a run, I get up late so I have to"
Charles Wachira and Eric Odhiambo Owino like this.
This 100 degree temp will make u wish u had more hrs at work...just for the ac. Oh well, the pool will have to do.
Liz Tanga likes this
"Some people get up early so they can go for a run, I get up late so I have to"
Charles Wachira and Eric Odhiambo Owino like this.
This 100 degree temp will make u wish u had more hrs at work...just for the ac. Oh well, the pool will have to do.
Liz Tanga likes this
"Getting toasted at the Portland Brewfest, I had to put Kenya on the map..*hic* *hic*
Cathy Joe likes this.
"Peace is not the absence of trial, trouble, or toment, but calm in the midst of them" ~ Don Meyer - ESPY Jimmy V awar recipient 2009
Matthew Holt Word.
"Stressed spelled backwards is DESSERTS"
Gituma Nturibi, Eric Odhiambo Owino and 2 others like this.
Matthew Holt Word.
"Stressed spelled backwards is DESSERTS"
Gituma Nturibi, Eric Odhiambo Owino and 2 others like this.
Eric Odhiambo Owino slick!
"We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?"
"There are two ways to climb an oak tree. You can climb it, or you can sit on an acorn and wait for it to grow"
Charles Wachira and James Mbai like this.
Eric Odhiambo Owino heh heh heh....nice one
Cathy Joe i'll sit on the acorn
"I get enough exercise just pushing my luck"
Chweya Matoya Ondari and Gonshou Dennisa like this
"You spend your whole life believing that you're on the right track, only to discover that you're on the wrong train."
Eric Odhiambo Owino likes this.
Darci Van Duzer LOL. Boy doesn't that just about cover it.
"Sometimes the hardest thing in life is knowing which bridges to cross... and which ones to burn!"
Liz Tanga and Joe Kanja like this.
"There's nothing a little jazz at Jimmy Mak's won't cure"
"Its so nice to check ur FB page and actually see new notifications, thank you all for the birthday wishes"
"Not at the table Carlos!.... hilarious" (gotta watch the Hangover movie)
Victor Riitho likes this.
Brassa Kareko lol! that shit was funny men! bado nacheka
"The difference between Truth and Fiction; Fiction has to make sense"
Joe Kanja likes this.
Koi Karu wait. what?This makes no sense.
Nick Kamau So it must be the truth...
Koi Karu huh?
"Should have, would have, could have, but didn't."
Cathy Joe story of my life
"Just get up one more time than you are knocked down"
Joe Kanja likes this.
"Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do."
James Mbai and Gituma Nturibi like this.
"Another day, another dollar"
Patrick Ndai damn, u got a raise? :)
"Money is worthless unless some people have it and others do not."
Vincent Omondi This is the sin of all time. wish everyone could just do barter trade!!!
"Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot."
Olivia Chege and Ciiru Chett like this.
Brassa Kareko mshefa umenena :)
"Never forget that your tools were made by the lowest bidder."
Charles Wachira and Vincent Omondi like this.
"If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to it"
Joe Kanja likes this.
Darci Van Duzer hah! I like it!
"Even a stopped clock is right twice a day."
"Even a mosquito doesn't get a slap on the back until it starts to work."
Samuel Kabara and Luis 'Lucho' Cardenas like this.
"When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut."
"The rainy days a man saves for usually seem to arrive during his vacation."
"Rip city!... Uprise. Go Blazers!" (NBA playoffs '09)
"It usually takes a long time to find a shorter way."
"Life's not always fair. Sometimes you can get a splinter even sliding down a rainbow." ~Cherralea Morgen
James Oluoch likes this
"Stupid should hurt"
Darci Van Duzer hah! I agree.
Tar Heels all the way... (March Madness '09)
"Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Intelligence is not trying."
"Normal: Just a washing machine setting"
Brassa Kareko likes this.
Jacob Wachira Ezigbo thats not normal,
"I feel like the only tree in the kennel"
"If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip."
Cathy Joe then iam in need of a vacay
Koi Karu Whatever
"Love is staying up all night with a sick child, or a healthy adult. "
"Careful with that light at the end of the tunnel, it might be another train coming."
"The man who doesn’t read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read them."
Mark Twain
"Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life."
"All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism."
"If you are going through hell, keep going."` Winston churchill.
"It's hard to soar like an eagle when you're surrounded by turkeys!"
"I solved the curious case of Benjamin Button"
"Only Robinson Crusoe had everything done by Friday."
"I Love You is an 8 letter phrase, but then again so is Bull Shit..."
"When all other means of communications fail, try words"
"It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education."
“There’s never just one wet butt in a canoe. We’re all in this together”
"It's not a slam at you when people are rude -- it's a slam at the people they've met before"
"It's not the fall that kills you, but the sudden stop at the bottom."
"People who think by the inch and talk by the yard deserve to be kicked by the foot."
"Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway"
"A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station"
"When you are standing on the edge of a cliff a step forward is not progress."
"It is not the load that breaks you down; it's the way you carry it."
"Disneyland: A people trap operated by a mouse."
"Try to save money. Someday it may be valuable again."
"It is better to stay silent and be thought a fool, than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt."
"When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane..."
"There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works."
"Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield."
"Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark."
"It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others"
"If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it."
"I am having an out of money experience."
"Experience:something you don’t get until just after you need it."
"Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there."
"Change is inevitable, except from vending machines. "
"As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools."
"Remember age doesn’t always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone."
"A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well."
"Energizer bunny arrested, charged with battery"
"A bird in hand is safer than one overhead"
"I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early."
~Charles Lamb
"Accident: A condition in which presence of mind is good, but absence of body is better"
"Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."
"Artificial Intelligence is the study of how to make real computers act like the ones in movies."
“Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.”
“There are no accidents. God's just trying to remain anonymous.”
“Women always worry about the things that men forget; men always worry about the things women remember”
“You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy"
"Is the glass half empty, half full, or twice as large as it needs to be? "
"If the human brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't."
"If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees."
"Good judgment comes from experience, and experience--well, that comes from poor judgment"
"Eschew obfuscation, espouse elucidation"
"A waist is a terrible thing to mind."
"Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research."
"A bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after we have enlightened him with ours."
"Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage"
"Prague: czech it out"
"Consciousness: that annoying time between naps."
"Everything goes on forever since the fat lady retired."
"I may be insane, but i'm not crazy"
"A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good"
"I love mankind; Its people I can't stand"
"My favorite animal is steak"
"Indecision is the key to flexibility"
"It sure makes the day longer when I get to work on time."
"I think my brain has a mind of its own"
"Double negatives are a NO NO"
"I sold my car to buy gas"
"Where facts are few, experts are many"
"The biggest reason against public transportation: the public."
"Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing."
"Help stop global whining"
"If at first you don't succed then skydiving is not for you"
"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on"
"A man's got to believe in something, I believe I'll have another drink."
"I'm so adjective,I verb nouns"
"If you dont like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk"
"You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me"
"If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0"
"life is like a garden... dig it?"
"We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?"
"There are two ways to climb an oak tree. You can climb it, or you can sit on an acorn and wait for it to grow"
Charles Wachira and James Mbai like this.
Eric Odhiambo Owino heh heh heh....nice one
Cathy Joe i'll sit on the acorn
"I get enough exercise just pushing my luck"
Chweya Matoya Ondari and Gonshou Dennisa like this
"You spend your whole life believing that you're on the right track, only to discover that you're on the wrong train."
Eric Odhiambo Owino likes this.
Darci Van Duzer LOL. Boy doesn't that just about cover it.
"Sometimes the hardest thing in life is knowing which bridges to cross... and which ones to burn!"
Liz Tanga and Joe Kanja like this.
"There's nothing a little jazz at Jimmy Mak's won't cure"
"Its so nice to check ur FB page and actually see new notifications, thank you all for the birthday wishes"
"Not at the table Carlos!.... hilarious" (gotta watch the Hangover movie)
Victor Riitho likes this.
Brassa Kareko lol! that shit was funny men! bado nacheka
"The difference between Truth and Fiction; Fiction has to make sense"
Joe Kanja likes this.
Koi Karu wait. what?This makes no sense.
Nick Kamau So it must be the truth...
Koi Karu huh?
"Should have, would have, could have, but didn't."
Cathy Joe story of my life
"Just get up one more time than you are knocked down"
Joe Kanja likes this.
"Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do."
James Mbai and Gituma Nturibi like this.
"Another day, another dollar"
Patrick Ndai damn, u got a raise? :)
"Money is worthless unless some people have it and others do not."
Vincent Omondi This is the sin of all time. wish everyone could just do barter trade!!!
"Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot."
Olivia Chege and Ciiru Chett like this.
Brassa Kareko mshefa umenena :)
"Never forget that your tools were made by the lowest bidder."
Charles Wachira and Vincent Omondi like this.
"If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to it"
Joe Kanja likes this.
Darci Van Duzer hah! I like it!
"Even a stopped clock is right twice a day."
"Even a mosquito doesn't get a slap on the back until it starts to work."
Samuel Kabara and Luis 'Lucho' Cardenas like this.
"When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut."
"The rainy days a man saves for usually seem to arrive during his vacation."
"Rip city!... Uprise. Go Blazers!" (NBA playoffs '09)
"It usually takes a long time to find a shorter way."
"Life's not always fair. Sometimes you can get a splinter even sliding down a rainbow." ~Cherralea Morgen
James Oluoch likes this
"Stupid should hurt"
Darci Van Duzer hah! I agree.
Tar Heels all the way... (March Madness '09)
"Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Intelligence is not trying."
"Normal: Just a washing machine setting"
Brassa Kareko likes this.
Jacob Wachira Ezigbo thats not normal,
"I feel like the only tree in the kennel"
"If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip."
Cathy Joe then iam in need of a vacay
Koi Karu Whatever
"Love is staying up all night with a sick child, or a healthy adult. "
"Careful with that light at the end of the tunnel, it might be another train coming."
"The man who doesn’t read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read them."
Mark Twain
"Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life."
"All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism."
"If you are going through hell, keep going."` Winston churchill.
"It's hard to soar like an eagle when you're surrounded by turkeys!"
"I solved the curious case of Benjamin Button"
"Only Robinson Crusoe had everything done by Friday."
"I Love You is an 8 letter phrase, but then again so is Bull Shit..."
"When all other means of communications fail, try words"
"It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education."
“There’s never just one wet butt in a canoe. We’re all in this together”
"It's not a slam at you when people are rude -- it's a slam at the people they've met before"
"It's not the fall that kills you, but the sudden stop at the bottom."
"People who think by the inch and talk by the yard deserve to be kicked by the foot."
"Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway"
"A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station"
"When you are standing on the edge of a cliff a step forward is not progress."
"It is not the load that breaks you down; it's the way you carry it."
"Disneyland: A people trap operated by a mouse."
"Try to save money. Someday it may be valuable again."
"It is better to stay silent and be thought a fool, than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt."
"An alarm clock: A device that wakes you up just in time to go back to sleep."
"Procrastination is the greatest laborsaving invention of all time."
"EGGS AND HAM - A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig."
"There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side."
"There is no such thing as foolproof. Fools are too ingenious."
"When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail."
"There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side."
"There is no such thing as foolproof. Fools are too ingenious."
"When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail."
"When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane..."
"There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works."
"Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield."
"Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark."
"It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others"
"If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it."
"I am having an out of money experience."
"Experience:something you don’t get until just after you need it."
"Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there."
"Change is inevitable, except from vending machines. "
"As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools."
"Remember age doesn’t always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone."
"A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well."
"Energizer bunny arrested, charged with battery"
"A bird in hand is safer than one overhead"
"I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early."
~Charles Lamb
"Accident: A condition in which presence of mind is good, but absence of body is better"
"Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."
"Artificial Intelligence is the study of how to make real computers act like the ones in movies."
“Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.”
“There are no accidents. God's just trying to remain anonymous.”
“Women always worry about the things that men forget; men always worry about the things women remember”
“You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy"
"Is the glass half empty, half full, or twice as large as it needs to be? "
"If the human brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't."
"If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees."
"Good judgment comes from experience, and experience--well, that comes from poor judgment"
"Eschew obfuscation, espouse elucidation"
"A waist is a terrible thing to mind."
"Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research."
"A bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after we have enlightened him with ours."
"Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage"
"Prague: czech it out"
"Consciousness: that annoying time between naps."
"Everything goes on forever since the fat lady retired."
"I may be insane, but i'm not crazy"
"A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good"
"I love mankind; Its people I can't stand"
"My favorite animal is steak"
"Indecision is the key to flexibility"
"It sure makes the day longer when I get to work on time."
"I think my brain has a mind of its own"
"Double negatives are a NO NO"
"I sold my car to buy gas"
"Where facts are few, experts are many"
"The biggest reason against public transportation: the public."
"Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing."
"Help stop global whining"
"If at first you don't succed then skydiving is not for you"
"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on"
"A man's got to believe in something, I believe I'll have another drink."
"I'm so adjective,I verb nouns"
"If you dont like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk"
"You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me"
"If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0"
"life is like a garden... dig it?"
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Hilarious Nick, Hilarious
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